5 Funniest Videos on YouTube

Many sites have claimed to find the funniest videos on YouTube. I actually have. In no particular order, they are:

-David After Dentist. A reality video of a five year old after anesthesia for the first time... it's like what would happen if you got your little brother high and he was really funny anyway.

-Never Let a Crackhead Sing at Your Funeral. A video about truth, wisdom, and beauty, and a powerful argument for either A) staying off drugs or B) learning the words to a simple hymn.

-Marijuana Overdose 911 Call. This is an absolutely real 911 call from the wife of a police officer who had stolen evidence and utilized that evidence to the best of his ability. Best line: "We're dying. Time is going by really really really slow. I think we're dead."

-My New Haircut. Irresistible to fans of the Jager Bomb, this clip has probably spawned as many parodies as any other videos on YouTube... it's also shockingly revealing and self-deprecating for a bunch of NJ guidos.

-Mobile Alabama Leprechaun. The amazing part about this news clip of some true believers in Mobile, Alabama is that IT'S ACTUALLY A REAL NEWS SEGMENT. Buy the T-shirt!

Honorable Mentions:
Charlie Bit My Finger... Mostly funny because they're British.
Hahaha... I usually shun videos of babies but this one is awesome, and imported from Sweden!
Star Wars Kid... Talk about scarred for life.
Evolution of Dance... Not especially funny, but pretty cool.

I taste like Jager Bomb

After a three hour nap yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending the 2nd Annual Billig Beer Fest at the Century Bar and Grill in Centennial, Wyoming. "Billig," I am told, means cheap in German. Hence, the fest lived up to its name; it featured a lineup of Lost Lake, Lost Lake Ice, Lost Lake Light, Milwaukee's Best and its Light version, Natural Ice, Schafer Light, Old Milwaukee, and Coors Extra Gold, each just $1 a can. There were reviews posted from the World Wide Web, and I'm pretty sure most attendees sampled most of the beers. They ranged from poor to extremely poor, and being the beer snob that I am, I only made it through five of them before I moved on to a very tasty local beer.

The event took place under a sail (yes, a sail from a sailboat, or schooner if you will) outside the bar. It was nestled in a very picturesque grove of aspen. Hot dogs and burgers were served. Evidently they forgot the veggie burgers, probably because there are no vegetarians between here and Fort Collins, Colorado. Four bands played, including one that featured a washboard bass played by a guy in a pink flannel shirt. Dogs were abundant, as were shoeless hippies. Luckily, I didn't get a haircut this week, because I would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

As the night went on, it cooled (as it often does at night) and we moved inside, where two friends and I pretty much split a bottle of Jameson. I started drinking water around eight PM, anticipating a long night. At ten or eleven, we moved to the Beartree to watch blues guitarist Carl Weathersby, who was excellent. We stood outside watching stars for awhile, and there is no place to stargaze than Centennial, Wyoming.

As the night wore on, the band ceased and people filtered out of the bar. At this point, we all decided that a Jager Bomb would be most appropriate. For those of you that don't know, a Jager bomb is a standard-size shot (1.5 fl. oz.) of Jagermeister dropped (hence the bomb) into 2.25 ounces of Red Bull or other similar energy drink. The drink was immortalized in the 2006 YouTube video, "My New Haircut," which I very strongly encourage you to watch if you haven't already. You can purchase a Jager Bomb for only $15 at most bars in NYC.

Anyway, I am pretty sure if an alien were to land in Wyoming and eat me right now, I would taste like Jager Bomb. My blood would run out in that brownish-yellowish-reddish color that would be named Jager Bomb if it were released as a Crayola crayon. And the alien would probably be pretty wasted. And now that I think of it, it wouldn't matter if it were an alien, a bear, or another person like in the movie Alive; I would still taste like Jager Bomb. I just had a great idea, which is putting a stick in Jager Bomb, freezing it, and selling it as a Jager Bomb pop.

In other matters, the preseason schedule of the NFL starts today, ending a drought of 2 months without either of my favorite sports.